{I wanted to write this post as a way to express my feelings about this past year. I know that people have had varying experiences with the pandemic and this in no way is meant to invalidate anyone’s experience.}
When 2020 began more than a year ago I had a lot of exciting things on the horizon. The blog was really starting to take off and I thought it was going to be the year it blew up. I also had decided that after a 7 year hiatus from working in the corporate world I was going to take a part time job in event planning.
After losing my grandmother in February I was hoping things were getting back on track. I remember shooting this campaign with Rachel on Saturday and planning out my week. I was going to start my new job that following week but by that Friday I would get the message that my kids were going to be off of school for a month. Little did I know they wouldn’t return for more than 6 months.
This is the same story most of us had. We had a plan for 2020. That plan was quickly rerouted to a whole new life that none of us could have ever planned for. I’ve heard people say things like, we need to help our kids plan for pandemic proof careers but in reality… what in this year has been pandemic proof? How do you plan for the unknown?
We didn’t. I won’t pretend we did it with grace either. I was nervous. I have never been in charge of my kids education nor did I want to be. I was worried about Justin’s job. I was worried about getting sick or my family getting sick. I was sad not seeing people. I retreated. I consumed too much information and then not enough. I had the worst panic attack I have ever had in my life. I didn’t leave my home for 27 days straight at one point. When I did venture out I was constantly nervous.
I knew I needed to focus. The kids were in a new world of uncertainty. My husband was worried about the brand new job he was working in an arena that he needs to be face to face with people. I was the only person that had a choice in how we moved forward. I was the one who could control a lot of the way my family handled the situation. So I pivoted.
I thought of the term Pivoting with Purpose a few months ago. It wasn’t a plan. It wasn’t like I sat down and had a conversation with myself that I needed to do this. It just sort of happened. Rather than starting that new job I made my new focus educating the kids to the best of my ability while providing as much care, stability and fun as I could. I pivoted my purpose to creating nice meals for the family each night and every night we sat together at the table and ate a meal. Math went from equations to baking with mom and all of us learning how to measure to make the perfect pie crust. We celebrated my birthday, our anniversary, Justin’s birthday, Easter and Mother’s Day at home.
I’m a person that likes to focus on the positive so when a friend mentioned to me the other day that she had a lot of anxiety about March 13th coming up I was confused. I said well I think we have had a pretty good year considering. She was like yeah but everything changed Tiffany, literally nothing is the same as it was before.
She was right.
Although some of us may have handled it differently than others or some of us, like me, want to focus on the positive things that have happened but it doesn’t change the fact that nothing is as it was. It’s not just a new normal. It is a new everything.
2021 has started and I am seeing glimmers of hope. I am encouraged that we are on our way back to some sense of normalcy but it won’t ever be like it was. However my genuine hope is that if things ever go sideways again I remember to pivot with purpose. Sometimes things just aren’t going to go how we planned. They are not going to workout how we thought they would. There may not even be a bright side to look at. How do we move forward? How do we navigate that? My sincere hope is that I always find a way to find a purpose in the chaos or the newness.
XO,
Tiffany
I have always wanted to do a photo series. During the shutdown I took a picture each day to remember a moment of what we were experiencing. You can view it here. Isolation: A Photo Series
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